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We flew home the day before Thanksgiving and actually spent Thanksgiving in Jerome. We just got home yesterday. We probably won't update the blog now until the next adoption--we just don't seem to have the time vc. Wow! Having 4 kids is a lot busier than having 3. We've found with our two youngest that they want us to do the same things to each of them... including getting in trouble. If one of them does something wrong and we say 'no', the other will do the same thing just so he/she can get told 'no' too! It's crazy busy over here until naptime and bedtime. It's going to take time for ALL of us to adjust.

Bowen's First Zoo

He was so excited when he saw the monkeys and the bears! He LOVED to watch the monkeys swing. (Michael, our guide, is in the background as tickled as I was at Bowen's excitement).

John had a hard time getting a good shot of Bowen with a live animal (either Bowen would move or the animal would before the picture was taken) so this was a good solution.

Some of the flora and fauna at the zoo. You can also see Bowen jumping around if you look closely.

After the zoo we had lunch and Bowen wanted to wipe my eyes. I don't know if he thought I was crying but he was so sweet and gentle. He has been bonding really good with both of us. I don't think that we are going to have any major attachment issues with this one.

Goodbye Xi'an

We made it! The fog lifted Friday and we were able to catch our flight on time Friday night. (Friday in Xi'an we spent looking at the Wild Goose Pagoda. We saw many people there worshipping the Buddha.) We are now in Guangzhou where it is very hot. Not as hot as it was in August, which we've experienced before, but still hot enough to make us sweat even in our lightest shirts. We shopped for Bowen some shorts, tank tops and sandals today -- not many around (I guess we actually are in a cold time for here).

We are staying on Shamian Island. We weren't able to do that last time we visited and what a beautiful and fun little place it is! We (well... I) especially love seeing so many western faces, talking in English and being understood, and learning where everyone is from. Our boy still seems to be charming everyone. We've had a couple of fits at night here now when it's time to go to bed but he's been so enjoyable during the days. He's learned how to eat at the restaurant like a regular gentleman (and we've learned to move everything on the table out of his reach).

Today we went for his medical exam. He seems to have no speech delay to us. He is always talking (and singing now) in Chinese to us. But today at the exam when they wanted him to talk he just clammed up and stared at them. It really reminded me of Faryn when she was younger. I guess this child will decide when he's going to speak and when he's not and no amount of persuasion would open his mouth today. Our guide , Michael (who we knew from Mira's adoption), was trying to tell the doctors that he could speak but Bowen wasn't going to prove him right. I don't know what happened in the end but we passed so it was okay. Bowen seemed to like the doctors; not a tear was shed this time.

Some Lessons Learned

Lesson #1: A four year old gets pretty bored in a Tung Dynasty museum... and so did we after seeing the 3 legged pot over and over again in it's (I swear 400) different forms. Why do they have a gigantic pot in the center of the Xianyang city? We don't know that. Maybe because a pot (much smaller - for cooking- but) of this form was unearthed here.

Lesson #2: Bowen's hair is not actually a bad hair cut, it's a famous Chinese soccer player's hair style.

Bowen and the waitresses at our hotel (taken for Faryn)

Lesson #3: When you finally decide to just walk away from your child because he is lying on the floor in the center of the Tung Dynasty museum in China, it doesn't work because people will just keep giving him lots of attention for it and wanting to take his picture.

Lesson #4: When you go to China to pick up a 4-year-old, it's best to learn some Chinese. Yesterday Bowen had me playing this game with him. I would repeat his Chinese words back to him and it delighted him. Today I asked the guide what some of the words meant and she said, "Oh! These are not good words. I think his nanny taught it to him." Apparently I've been swearing in Chinese. No wonder Bowen was delighted. (Smart kid)

Our guide, Jane

Some news: We had put in for another adoption for an 11-year-old boy from China just a couple of months ago and were thinking we would have to wait at least 6 months before turning in paperwork. Well, the agency called and said CCAA (China's organization) said we could turn in our letter of intent for this boy (Tao) before we left. We just received word today, while in China, that we were pre-approved! That means it's official (so I can announce it here).

Now, everyone pray for nice weather for us. We need this fog to lift so we will be able to catch our flight to Guangzhou.

Will Wonders Never Cease

Once upon a time, in 1974, two Chinese farmers were digging a well. When they found a warrior in armor made from clay, they thought it was a spirit of the well so they pulled it out of the well, hung it from a tree, and beat it to pieces so it could not haunt them. Then they tried to dig their well somewhere else. When they dug the second well, they found another "spirit." After this spirit had also been hung and beaten the story began to spread. It became known to the government and the 8th Wonder of the World was discovered: an underground army of Terracotta Warriors.

What an interesting place to see in person! These warriors are less than a mile from the tomb of the first emperor to unite China. They were made to maintain and protect his spirit. This place was so moving to John that he has decided he wants to build something big that people can dig up to remember him.

All of their faces are different.

Another wonder happened today, Bowen and John had almost an hour of really GOOD play! This is different than the past days when every other minute, during play, we have had to get Bowen out of trouble and try to settle him down a bit. Bowen's attention span seems to be improving.

Bowen is very social and all of the people here just seem to adore him. He has learned the word "Hello" and says it to many people. He flirts with all the waitresses in the restaurant and they all giggle at him. He likes to show the "peace" sign he learned from Tessa's picture and wants everyone to return it.

Don't Tell Anyone, But...

Before I get into the big secret, I just want to say a few words about yesterday. I find that I really needed yesterday to happen so that I can finally see Bowen in the right light. It is rather difficult trying to get to know a new person and a new culture all at once without being able to communicate. I can finally feel like a mommy to him now that my perspective has changed. I can now see him as a little boy not much older than Mira, and less developed in some ways. He really has no special needs but it is hard for him too to try to communicate with us. We got our first kissed from him this morning and he spoke quite a bit more with us today... mostly in Chinese but even that is good because it shows he is feeling more comfortable. Also because of yesterday I can see where I want to put limitations on him, when to start (before he gets too upset... I can read this now!), and when some behavior is cultural and can be tolerated slightly more (although I still let him know if we are not happy with this behavior), and when it is just him trying to see how far he can go. Also, some of the behaviors are just right for his age I think and now that I see him at the right age I can deal with those behaviors much better. That being said, I can tell you what we did today...

Don't tell anyone, but... we were able to visit the orphanage today! I am not supposed to tell anyone so I will just tell you not to pass it on. This orphanage is getting stricter about people not visiting it because they are trying to construct a new building beside it to house the children and I guess they feel that their orphanage will be in much better condition once they are in the new building. Don't ask me how my guide managed, after being told twice that we couldn't see it, to get them to let us come but I think I have the BEST guide in the world!

Xianyang is known for it's romantic weeping willow trees.

The orphanage is in Xianyang so it was quite a long drive to get there (maybe an hour?). This part of China is so much different than in Hunan where we were last. Also, it is very foggy here at this time of year. Jane, our guide thinks it is funny that they put the airport in Xianyang where it is always the foggiest. She says that is the wrong place for it and they have many delays because of this. We were lucky that the day we arrived here it was sunny.

We let Bowen carry two gifts to his nanny and he was really cute about it. He didn't even try to look inside or grab at the papers. He was very mild today and when we reached the orphanage he ran inside everywhere he went. Everyone seemed to know him and called out to him as he passed. They all seemed to love him. They told us at first that we would not be able to take pictures inside the orphanage at all but then they allowed us to take a picture of him with all the nannies and some of the children. Most of the children left there are quite young. They said all that were around Bowen's age have been adopted.

They spoke to him in Chinese and he pulled a face and they laughed but they kept at it and finally our guide was able to pick him up and put him in one of the cribs. I understood that it was his crib and they had to talk him into getting into it for us to get a photo. Our guide told him she would get him out as soon as we had a picture so he finally let them put him in it. One of the nannies got a kiss then pointed to another so he kissed her, and on and on until he had kissed all of the nannies there. (And he also head-butted them all -- I guess it is a Chinese sign of affection.) Then he pointed to me and so they took him to me and he gave me a kiss and then pointed to John and kissed him too. On the way out, his nanny told him to come with her so she could give him some candies. He ran into the room after her to get the candies but returned as soon as he could. He really was ready to leave.

He held out his arms for John to carry him outside then he showed us the playground equipment by running around and playing on it. His favorite seems to be the teeter-totter which is a shame that we don't seem to have them in the US anymore. Then he took both of our hands and led us to the car. He was happy. I think it was good for him to have that closure and for him to have his two worlds come together in that way. We all know now that he is ready to be with us and we had no tears when it came to nap time today.

A Few Quick Words On Sizing

For those interested, Bowen would be better in a size 3 pant. Size 4 top is a bit big but I don't think I would do a size 3. Funny that the socks we bought him drown him when they match the shoe size of the shoes that we bought (and I KNOW it's not talking about men's sizes). Shirt size is 4, pant size is 3, shoe size is 9, sock size is ???

I am actually posting this at 7:30 at night here. Our laptop is still on your time... so we can know what time the girls are awake and to call them.

One Good Day Deserves... A Bad One?

Bowen did really well yesterday and last night considering all that he has gone through. So he has spent this day trying out his new limits. Our guide told me, "it's okay to spoil him a little today," and "it's good if he misbehaves a little now." But after a few incidents I just couldn't agree. With every little thing he got away with, he'd take on a bigger one. John and I have both been run ragged and are very tired tonight. I have to say, I could see yesterday that he wrapped his daddy around his finger just as much as any little girl can. For sure he knows who is a bit more of the disciplinarian by tonight and you'll never guess who he prefers...

I've been through it all today, girls. I know what stinky feet are like now and that it doesn't matter how new and clean the socks are to begin with. I've been spit upon (on purpose) and snotted upon so many times I can't even tell who is cleaner (except now HE'S had a bath). I've been embarrassed in public so many times I don't think I can be embarrassed any more. And I've learned just how conniving one smart little guy can be. And he LAUGHS every time he misbehaves... as if he thinks my reaction is the funniest thing in the world.

It was probably a hard day for him too. We spent almost the whole day at CCAA trying to prove that we were fit parents while he bit down on things so hard we couldn't pry them out of his mouth, threw everything in the office he could get his hands on and then threw himself on the floor and had a big fit. Then we had to wait at the police station for them to get his photo and payments to the bank. He didn't get the nap he is used to getting as we only had 1 1/2 hour break in the afternoon and had to eat in that time too. I tried to get him to sleep some but he just kept crying for his nanny. I guess a little misbehavior was inevitable. I think he did better at dinner tonight until we had to pay for our food -- after John handed the waitress our room key, Bowen gabbed it out of her hand and threw it across the restaurant. (Today has shown me he will probably grow up to be a great ball player some day!)

Here Bowen took all of the little Spanish boy's new toys away to play with them.

We'll have to work on sharing.

Question: Does putting a lighted flashlight right up to their own eyes and staring into it not affect a Chinese child's eyes? Mira and Bowen both like to do this...

Meeting Bowen

What an interesting day! I love this little guy. When we met Bowen he watched us watching him and looked slightly nervous. He came right to me for Hot Wheels and Animal Crackers. He let me pick him up, let John take a picture, wouldn't go to John for a minute but then let him pick him up and me take a picture. He even laughed at us a bit. He seems to be a very calm boy who just doesn't talk a lot because he doesn't want to. He can speak his language very well, the guide tells me, he just seems settled not to speak a lot. Our guide, Jane, thinks it is just his personality -- his way.

The shoes I bought for him exactly fit (Thanks, Renata) -- a size 9. I was glad as the ones he came in were really too small. We changed his shoes and unloaded a few layers (I believe he had 4 very thick layers) of clothes from him before we went to dinner. The guide had written in Chinese what his favorite food was so we tried the authentic Chinese restaurant in the hotel. John and I had our choice of the jelly fish, the braised pigs ear, turtles in softened shells, and duck livers but finally, the staff rescued me by recommending the eggplant and beef (which was like the texture of ground beef but cut like roast beef). It turned out to be very good. One of the waitresses figured out that Bowen could speak Chinese so she came over and fed him his noodles with chopsticks and spoke constant Chinese to him as the other waitresses looked on and giggled because they all thought he was so cute. (We were the only customers in the restaurant...). When he had tried all the noodles he wanted, he asked for eggplant and beef. He wanted to eat what we were. Then he requested a fork and when they brought him one, proceeded to try to cut his food and eat it like we were. I cut it for him but he tried to cut the little pieces futher my mimmicking what I had done. He learned how to scoop it all up on his fork and showed me so that I would praise him.

Bowen's nanny

All through this time, he always wanted to make sure both John and I were there with him. He wanted one hand in John's and one in mine. If it didn't work out that he could have both, he was okay but made sure the other was following. He made a lot of eye contact with both of us and laughed a lot.



He rather enjoyed his day of freedom and was very interested in all that went on outside in this big new world but when bedtime came, he jumped up to put on his too small shoes -- I can only assume that he was ready now to go back home to his nanny. (He seemed to have a very loving relationship with this nanny and actually called all the nannies in the orphanage 'mama' and the director 'baba' - 'daddy'). Now I could see that this is not all fun and games. I feel so sorry for the poor guy -- what a dirty trick it seems to me. We held him, loved him, wiped his tears (and his nose), tried to tell him it was all okay. He would let me hold him for a few minutes but then suddenly get very angry at me and push me away. We finally decided that since it was already well past his bedtime that we would turn on the TV (maybe he needed noise) and let him fall asleep that way. John held him close, I got a hold of one hand, and together we watched Chinese TV until he fell into a deep sleep... until 1:00 AM.



When he woke up at 1, he was wide awake and ready to go...I know because he put his shoes on. He tried to say things to us in Chinese and we had no idea what he was saying so I excitedly pulled out my book of "First Thousand Words in Chinese" and he loved it! He especially loved the pages with the sports and the cars. He would point to the ball and wait until I said "ball" then he would say the Chinese word, then I would attempt the Chinese word, then I would repeat "ball" and he would say "ba". He is very smart. He wanted to learn what everything was. He said many of the English words. He said 'car' a great many times and wanted to know what that big truck is that has the ball on the end that destroys buildings (?) if anyone wants to help me know the English word for that truck please email... I feel like this was a very bonding experience.



He played with our faces after that, pulled and pinched our noses and laughed at how we talked with them pinched. He held John's face very still and just looked into his eyes (I know John was just melting) then hit him with a huge head-butt for such a little guy and just laughed and laughed. He pointed to the water (and yes, he has learned the word "this"), took some huge gulps (he doesn't know how to drink very well yet), then spit the last one out at us and laughed and laughed. He attempted this more but has realized we don't like this so swallows it down instead of spitting it out. We finally got him to sleep again at 2:30, with both of us beside him holding his hands.

We feel very blessed. What a beautiful, wonderful little guy!

Giving Thanks

Today we are thankful for: planes that leave on time and land early, San Jose, enough money to pay a shuttle driver, good shuttle drivers that leave on time and arrive early, carpool lanes in California, Mexico City travellers at airport check-ins (they got moved to a different line), fast security at San Francisco airport (much faster than 2 years ago), and seats at the back of the plane. Due to all of these things we made it to our 12 1/2 hour flight on time (after BOTH getting frisked at the Boise airport before leaving for San Jose). Now we are here in Xi'an and we get to pick up our son in 1 hour. We didn't have an internet connection in our room last night but we've changed rooms now so we should be able to keep you updated.

Here is the view outside our back door off the balcany.

Stranded

If our adventures today are any indication of our adventures to come... We got to the airport on time, 6:00 pm. We sat in our gate waiting for an hour and were the only 2 people there at 20 minutes before our flight was supposed to leave. We found we were at the wrong gate (there was a little white note attached to the sign at our gate and I swear it was written in pencil!). In the Boise airport, however, it doesn't take long to get to whichever gate. When we got there they told us that flights to San Francisco had been delayed all day so they were unsure if we would be able to leave on time. The plane came in two minutes after we were supposed to depart but we were still delayed -- till 11:15 pm they told us. After waiting for another 45 minutes they told us they were delayed till 11:50. We were not to leave the area because they might drop the delay at any moment. (Does this remind anyone else of our trip to Hawaii?). But not to worry, we had a nice chat with the pilots. I learned all about what it takes to be a pilot and that you should also persue another career so that when you have a family you will be able to quit piloting so you can see your family some.

Apparently San Francisco Airport is having some construction and so they have been delaying flights and it was very backed up tonight. At 10:00 they told us they had cancelled our flight. So we are still here in Boise, staying at the Inn America (the least expensive hotel in town),

we've had a bagel and muffin for dinner, and we have no car. We have to get up early tomorrow morning, hop on a plane bound for San Jose, find ground transportation to San Francisco, and catch our flight to Beijing within 3 1/2 hours...(and I believe it will be morning rush hour). Wish us luck!